Happy birthday to my lovely bride of almost 20 years! I am so thankful for you, my love. I am glad God put us together and blessed us with such bliss. My prayer is that you have a marvelously magnificent day full of zephyrs of kindness directed towards you. I pray that the kind words received from others would serve to galvanize your faith. Feel free to jettison your fears about getting old. There should be nothing lachrymose about today. Keep up your sanguine and ebullient outlook. Sure, you can look back on days of yore. There are wonderful memories awaiting, though, perhaps somewhat nebulous. I trust, though, you will spend this day with your usual panache. May there be absolutely no debacles in your path.

Love,

Your usually laconic husband.

As the title indicates, we found something under our deck. Before I tell you what it was, I want to point something out. My title is a lot like a recent title used by my lovely bride. I could not be outdone, I suppose.

Unfortunately, my post is not about meeting a TV star or anything like that. It also is not about something nice. It’s pretty negative, in fact. So on with the show.

Today, a couple of my children informed me that they had discovered a couple of snake skins in a crevice between our house and our deck. Before inspecting the situation, I recalled that I had recently stumbled upon a molted snake skin IN our garage. Maybe I’m screaming, maybe I’m not. My wife certainly is. Can you hear her?

So, upon hearing of other evidences of reptilian friends lurking near our abode, I decided to retrieve the skins for inspection. I used a croquet stick to leverage the skins out of their resting place beneath the deck. There was nothing premeditated about that. I saw the croquet stick nearby, and used it. That was all.

I spread out the skins side by side on a table. It was an outside table that I will wash before I ask you to eat with us on the deck that happens to be snake-infested. Let me tell you something. It was a surprise to find two snake skins under my deck. It was an even larger surprise to find that one skin measured three feet, while the other measured four.

My wife happened to be at the library at the time of discovery, and the children who found the skins were nearly at bursting point to tell Momma when she made it home. I don’t need to describe for you the reaction. I really don’t. You have been around her when snakes or spiders are even mentioned. Everything you’ve seen her do before was done again. It’s the “critter dance”.

We immediately endeavored to find the answer to our burning question. “What question would that be?” you ask. It was something in the neighborhood of, “What kind of snakes are they?” or “Are they poisonous?” The latter was the most fiery question of the day, I must admit.

After scouring the internet, we learned that most snake skins exceeding three feet used to be the clothing for VENOMOUS snakes (specifically rattlers). We also learned that there are exceptions. We were glad for those. One exception is that there are usually two rows of scales at the tip of the tail on the underside of non-venomous snakes. This was true of the ones we found.

Whew! Momma is now happier, and that makes me happy. I use the word happier. She is not delighted. Just happier.

I have thought of  many things today regarding snakes, but one rises to the surface. I am intrigued with the stigma that surrounds snakes. Such a small creature sends most of us running. I can’t help but let my mind go back to the first time a snake became a problem. It was in a beautiful garden, and the snake was Satan, the adversary. He used the form of a serpent to bring on the fall of man, and he inadvertently allowed for such a pouring out of blessing on mankind that never would have been possible had man not fallen.

I’m referring to what God prophesied in that very garden. He foretold that the seed of the woman would one day put the serpent in his place, and that things would be made right. Of course Adam had no idea what all this would mean, but we do.

God’s own Son, Jesus Christ, would many years later take sinful Man’s place on a hill outside of Jerusalem. There He would be fastened to a tree and take the place of the curse. And there He would die. I am thankful the story has a happier ending than our story today. He died, but rose to life on the third day. Those who believe this have life now, and the promise of no condemnation. This really is good news!

I know you will call me weird, but it’s ok. I think it’s the truth. I decided to garnish our deck with the new discovery.

Aren’t children wonderful little machines who seem to endlessly produce profound statements? Consider the following:

If you don’t have anything to say, don’t say it.

It was one I almost missed, since it was so close to the intended saying we often use to redirect “ugly” remarks or negativism. I thank my youngest son, Bradley, for that one.

Amazingly enough, he also provided another very amusing one-liner just the other day. I had mentioned that one of the schools in the district where I work had been evacuated temporarily due to a strong odor (we found out later that it was some kind of chlorine leak).

After hearing me mention the evacuation, he sort of smirked and questioned, “They had to leave because of a strong ogre?” We all laughed. I was impressed with his quick ability to shift gears and shift around the original statement. I have a pretty funny picture in my head now of a bunch of school-children running for their lives. Thanks to the little ones for the funny comments.

…lies a funny man.

We had a great time recently during a routine visit to MCD. For the first time in a long time, we sighted a living, breathing, and extremely entertaining Ronald (not that I make it my life-goal to search for a Ronald or anything like that). He was full of fairly clever jokes, and made use of the effect that comes from embarrassing people. Clown power is quite amazing.

My favorite memory deals with Ronald’s time spent behind the counter. He walked past the associates at the registers, and began turning the menu from “dinner” to “breakfast” and then stopped the menus at the in-between place, so that no menu could be seen. Only eye-pain resulted as the lights that usually illuminate the menu now had free reign. Ronald simply asked the customers waiting for their food if they like the new lights behind the menu.

This is the kind of Ronald that we all need to witness every once in a while. The kind that thinks outside the box, and bothers people. He was obviously not the kind of guy that dresses in a clown suit, and fully depends on the fact that he is dressed in a clown suit. You know the kind. He stands there waving at the little kids – and that’s all.

This was the kind of guy that uses the fact that he is dressed like a clown to do things that would get the average Roberto discharged from the establishment.

Bravo to Ronald for restoring dignity to all those who wear clown suits.

If I had not been in the seat next to her, I would not have believed it. My daughter is now driving; the one I rocked, and sang to, and tickled, and with whom I enjoyed many tea parties, has taken yet another step toward independence. I have to ask again, “Is it true?”

And so it is. The picture proves it all.

I know I sound like my parents or my grandparents when I ask, “How is this possible?”  Various family members and friends have warned me about the fleeting moments, and that this day would be here in a snap. So here it is. Right before my eyes, my little one is no longer little.

While this is a sampling of an imminent greater sadness – a sadness that will come when she takes that final step away from the protection and warmth of the arms of her mother and her father, I have also been filled with a magnificent and overwhelming revelation of pride.

I do not speak of the pride a painter has when he has labored to complete the masterpiece. Nor do I point to the pride a sailor feels when he has rushed his ship headlong into a squall, and emerged from its clutches with his life and his ship. The pride I feel is different. I think it is the pride that a mother duck must feel when she sees a new desire in the eyes of her duckling; it is the desire for independence.

I sit in the passenger seat now as the father duck, proud as can be of a duckling taking her step away. I thank my God for this adventure through which he has led me, and continues to lead me. He promises never to leave nor forsake. For this, I praise His wonderful Name.

There is much to be gained or lost from a moment of regression. Among old friends or with family, innocent regression can often transport us to a time of wonderful memories. On the other hand…whether in spiritual, emotional, or financial terms, regression usually spells disaster.

The regression of which I write is centered upon the former – the good kind. And the moment of which I write takes me back to a moment that I never had the privilege of knowing. How’s this possible? I’m not really sure, to tell you the truth, but I know I witnessed it. Somehow, I was allowed to look into a window from the past. I was given the treat of peering into my wife’s childhood, when she transformed into an eight-year-old before my very eyes. And what a treat it was.

We were at Costco for our monthly shopping trip. We decided to look down the furniture aisle. And there it happened. She spotted a table that had eight chairs – the number that happens to correspond exactly to the number of people in our family.

I suppose it was just one of those moments when one is carried away with emotion, and one lets down one’s guard, and allows oneself to say whatever is on one’s mind. Are you with me? Anyway…there we were – IN THE MIDDLE OF COSTCO – and my lovely wife was carried away with emotion, and let down her guard, and said whatever happened to be on her mind.

So excited was she at the sight of the table and chairs, that she said, “Honey, do you suppose we could purchase this table and chairs?” Well, this is not really what she said at this moment. This is what most people would say. And those of you who are reading this most likely know that my wife has probably never fit into the “most people” category. I can’t ever think of a time. Onward.

So she said, “Mommy, Daddy, look, eight chairs!”

This is no lie. IN THE MIDDLE OF COSTCO, with the world looking on, and wondering where “Mommy and Daddy” are, she gave her whole family that sweet look into her past. However strange and awkward it was, I would not trade that moment for anything. And I would not trade her either. She’s my tender, little girl. And I love her.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.

Psalm 133:1-3

We are the recipients of a double blessing. We had the pleasure (this long weekend) of spending some time with two families from the chapel. On two different evenings this weekend we were invited to dine, and we were blessed immensely as a result of the offer.

We enjoyed, first of all, that someone had us as a family in mind. How nice it is to be noticed, and thought of. It reminds us of Christ and how he noticed us in our despair, and rushed to Earth to save.

We also were humbled by the effort expended on our behalf. The time that it must have taken, the resources used in the making of the food, and the warm hearts there to receive us, all encouraged us beyond our words.

As the scripture above states, it was a precious ointment to us. The fragrance of it all and the refreshment afforded to us cause us to blush in unworthiness. And I suppose this is the Gospel itself. We, as sinners before a Holy God, were deserving only of a fiery judgment. Yet our Judge became our Savior, and has invited us to dine.

We are thankful for this truth, and for the blessings of fellowship.

Technically, this is not post number 100, but that’s ok.

1) I was born in San Antonio, Texas.

2) I was born in March.

3) I was born at the Nix Hospital, near the famed Riverwalk.

4) I was not at all impressed with the Riverwalk at the time of my birth.

5) I am a little more impressed with the Riverwalk at this moment.

6) I was given a name that I rarely use (I use my middle name).

7) My dad used to put me in a pillow case and suspend me about 5 feet off the ground by closing the door on the pillow case. The more I think of it, the more I realize how precarious a position I was in.

My dad often enlisted my assistance for the purpose of frightening my mom.

9) As a youth, I dreamt of becoming a pro football player.

10) I played football and baseball for the YMCA.

11) My team was named the Seahawks.

12) We won many games. But we lost our last one.

13) I climbed a tree in my backyard when I was about 8. When I reached a certain branch, it broke. I fell to the ground on account of gravity, and my nose became close with a root. The root was harder than my nose, causing breakage, and much blood flow.

14) I immediately went inside my house with one query: how do I tell my mom about this, without causing a stir?

15) So I said upon seeing her in her room, “Mom, I feel out of a tree and hit my nose, but I’m alright.”

16) Perhaps it was the blood issuing from my nose, or perhaps it was the larger volume of blood taking up residence upon my shirt. Whatever it was, my mom was not convinced. We went to the hospital.

17) On many subsequent occasions, I have broken my nose.

18) If you look at me from a crouching position, you can tell that my nose has been broken. I think it turns a bit to the left. My left.

19) I forgot to mention that at about age 4, I ate a melted Starburst that I found on a sidewalk. It was a strawberry-flavored one.

20) Before #19, everything about me was pretty much in chronological order.

21) I was in a talent show in the first grade.

22) I starred in a short musical with two other friends. The song was called “I Love Trash”.  It was originally sung by Oscar the Grouch.

23) I am not that fond of trash.

24) My first pet that I can remember being attached to was a mix between a Weimaraner and something else. Her name was Missy.

25) I was lieutenant of the safety patrols in fifth grade.

26) I had to use spell-check to spell lieutenant.

27) As a safety patrol, I once ran down the hallway after school with a few other patrols. There was no need to do so. It was just done because we always wanted to do that. The others got caught by Mrs. Marsh, the safety patrol leader. I stopped just before the others were caught. They were not happy with me for not being caught. I sometimes wonder if other law enforcement agents do the same thing we did that day.

28) I often have a recurring dream that I am once again in school, and that I am unable to open my locker.

29) I played football and basketball while in middle school.

30) I enjoyed basketball more than football.

31) I was not nice to my 7th grade drafting teacher.

32) He was not nice to me consequently.

33) I recently tried to defend my behaviors in class by stating that the teacher had a habit of throwing things at students. My brother-in-law, who was present in the class, said that the teacher threw things because of our behaviors. He might be right.

34) I had an Atari game console when I was in middle school.

35) Asteroids was my favorite game.

36) I burned my tongue really badly while drinking hot chocolate one day.

37) I bought the hot chocolate at 7-11.

38) I did not sue the 7-11 attendants for their negligent behavior.

39) I recall that I could not taste anything for a few days.

40) It was scary.

41) While playing football in middle school, I scored a defensive touchdown by running in between the quarterback and the running back just as the quarterback pitched the ball. I caught the ball on my shoulder, and kept running.

42) During a basketball game, our team was in the lead, and the time was running out. Our team was instructed by the coach to not shoot the ball unless we had an easy shot, like a lay-up.

43) I heard the instructions, but decided to shoot a very long shot for some reason.

44) As I began to shoot, I heard my coach say, “No!”

45) When I made the shot, I heard my coach say, “Yes!”

46) After the game, my coach asked me what had gotten into my head. My response was that I had been inspired. He said that if I felt inspired like that again I would find myself on the bench. My smile faded.

47) I remember thinking about the concept of eternity as a youth. Whenever I would think about it, it seemed like my mind was doing flips inside my head.

48) I got my first job as a ball-boy at Batter Up of Texas on Recoleta.

49) I was in charge of making sure that baseballs were loaded in the automatic pitching machines.

50) When people whistled at me to tell me that the machines were empty, it angered me, but I did not retaliate.

51) I would ease my frustrations by putting on a baseball helmet after hours, and standing in the path of the pitching machine as it threw baseballs.

52) One of my duties was to use a blower to clean off the miniature golf greens across the street. The blower leaked oil. The oil often landed on the back of my leg as I worked, and it did not feel nice.

53) There was a man who would frequent Batter Up to retrieve aluminum cans. We called him the Can Man. He would use some sort of a gadget with a claw on the end of it to pick up the cans, so he did not have to bend over to pick them up. One day, we nailed a can on a bench to see what he would do. He struggled to get the can for a few moments, and then left without his reward. I know – that was not nice.

54) Bertha was the name of the machine that sat so lonely in the back of Batter Up, behind the nets.

55) She was brick-red, and we used her to repair nets. She was a cherry-picker, which means that there is a bucket on the end of an arm that extends so higher places might be reached. The bucket can be controlled by the person in the bucket.

56) To my surprise, I was once given the chance to operate the bucket with the simple instructions, “Don’t extend the bucket all the way.” I thought, ” That sounds easy enough.”

57) However – I extended it all the way accidentally, and found that when that happened, I could no longer control the bucket. I was trapped in the bucket about 25 feet off the ground. This normally would not be a problem. Just holler and someone will notice, and come to your rescue, right? True, if Bertha had not been such a loud machine. I think I waited 20 minutes until someone noticed that I was stuck.

58) I also held a job at Foley’s selling table linens. I don’t have any exciting stories nor do I have recollections of this job.

59) I graduated high school with an 89 average.

60) I began to enjoy reading and writing during my senior year in high school after taking a British Literature class.

61) I learned to block out the pain inflicted upon me by my mathematics instructors.

62) I still have a dream that I have enrolled in a math course, but forgot to ever attend it. In the dream, I am perspiring, sitting in the math class taking a final exam.

63) I attended college at UNT, in Denton, Texas. Eppie the Eagle was there.

64) My mom sent a Bible with me to college, and one night, while alone in my dorm, I began reading it. It was that night that I met my saviour, Jesus Christ. My life has never been the same.

65) I am not British, but I like adding the -our ending to words, because I think it is beautifulour.

66) I met the woman who is now my wife while in college. Within two months of knowing her, we knew we wanted to marry one another. We were married two years later.

67) I worked at a peanut butter factory while in college.

68) I worked at Wolfe Nursery for a few months as a result of my interest in Botany.

69) I also worked at UPS for about 3 days during college. It was the most physically demanding job I have ever held.

70) Another job I held was with Upright Installations. I helped to install lockers in schools.

71) I also worked at Blockbuster Video.

72) For a short time, I sold Canadian Lottery tickets for a telemarketing company.

73) I finished college with a GPA of 3.71.

74) I was invited to join a group called the Meadows Scholars to study Education.

75) I earned a Master’s degree in Education.

76) I began teaching at Creekside Elementary in Lewisville, Texas, in 1993.

77) I taught fourth grade that year. I remember a lot about that year, but what is most notable is that there was a girl in my class who, when angered, would pick up her desk and throw it. We tried not to anger her.

78) My first child was born in December of 1993.

79) We moved to San Antonio in the summer of 1994.

80) I grew a beard for the first time. I was not impressed, nor was my wife.

81) I taught a summer program called JumpStart at West Avenue Elementary.

82) I taught fourth grade and second grade at West Avenue for about 7 years.

83) We purchased the home in which I had grown up, and lived there about 5 years.

84) On some occasions, I would walk to work.

85) I built a tree house for my children in the back yard of the house where I grew up.

86) I held a side job as a furniture mover for a company called Too Good to Be Threw.

87) I transferred to Olmos Elementary and taught second and fifth grades for three years there. This is the elementary where I went to school. Go Owls!

88) In 2002, my daughter was diagnosed with cancer, and a few years later, my wife had open-heart surgery. That was a wild ride.

89) We moved to a larger home to accommodate a growing family.

90) I began a lawn and tree trimming business that I still maintain.

91) I have cut down several trees.

92) A friend taught me how to fairly accurately fell a tree by using a notch system of cutting.

93) On one occasion, my dad and I agreed to remove a tree that had fallen on a fence.

94) While in route to dispose of the wood on my trailer, I lost control of my vehicle and knocked down a telephone pole.

95) I walked away from that accident unharmed.

96) My second child was born in 1995.

97) My third child was born in 1997.

98) My fourth child was born in 1999.

99) My fifth child was born in 2000.

100) My sixth child was born in 2002.

So today is the day. Nineteen years ago today we made the commitment before God and our friends and family to love each other unconditionally. And I am thankful beyond description that I took that step. And I am thankful you took the step too.

What a wonderful day that was. It began as a 70 degree day in Lewisville, and there was snow filling the sky by the end of the wedding. How much like a dream it was. I still need to pinch myself sometimes to make sure it isn’t a dream.

In my soon-coming post of 100 things about me, I comment about how we both knew we wanted to be married soon after we knew one another. I marvel at this, because not every one is blessed in this way. I am so glad to have found you. I bless God for leading me to you.

Thank you for these nineteen years.

It’s a strange time of year to set the lawn mower to its lowest setting, but it really does make life easier.